Do you text? Do you not text? What do you say? How long do you wait before you say it? What if they have their read receipts turned on, and they read it but don't respond immediately, and you spend the next three hours and 45 minutes sending screenshots of your conversation to your friends so they can help you understand exactly how you blew it in only so many words?
Texting is tough. It's a delicate dance, especially when you're messaging someone you just met, and you actually care whether or not you see them again. You can completely seal the deal with a text, or you can blow things up entirely. So to help you achieve the former, we reached out to Tripp Kramer, host of the podcast How to Talk to Girls.
While you may want to text your date immediately and say something like "Get home safe," Kramer believes it's better to let a little bit of time pass. It's good to let you and her both reflect on the date, and then follow up within days to meet up again. When you're ready to set up another date, "Text him or her and comment on something you guys talked about on the date, or an inside joke you had from your time together," Kramer says.
But remember: You don't want to fall into the habit of texting this new person too often. So the less you leave on the phone, the better. If you want to actually see this person again, make plans to, well, see them again! But he warns: "Make sure it's different than whatever you did the first time. If your first date was drinks, then maybe go out to dinner. Unless your first date involved sex—and no judgment if so, hope you had fun!
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We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article methods. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1. Remember it's only one date. People have a tendency to judge quickly after a first date. When deciding your feelings, have some perspective. It's only one date. Whether you felt so-so about it, or had a great time, this is just one encounter and you can't make any sweeping decisions yet.
Unless there were very obvious red flags, consider giving the person a second chance if you had a decent time. If it went well, remember it was only one date and the other person may not have felt the same way. You're not in a relationship yet, so try to take things one day at a time before leaping to conclusions about where the relationship's going. Try not to overanalyze. It's important to examine your feelings about the person after a date, but overanalyzing can do more harm than good.
Try not to obsess over the meaning of every hand touch, hug, or other gesture. While small things can sometimes indicate a character trait, they can also be meaningless. If this only happened once throughout the whole date, they may have been checking the time or waiting on an important call.
For now, try not to think about the text incident too much. Decide if you want a second date. Sometimes, you know for sure you want a second date, but sometimes it's more confusing.
There is no pressure to go on a second date if you don't want to, but it's worth giving someone a chance if you had a decent time. However, if you were very uncomfortable or didn't have any fun, you may want to move on to someone else. Figure out any potential red flags. Sometimes, red flags show up early. If your date engaged in behaviors that seemed rude or inappropriate on more than one occasion, this may be a sign this person is not worth pursuing.
Maybe they barely engaged in conversation. Maybe they just made you uncomfortable throughout the night. Trust your instinct. Don't keep seeing someone if they have a bad vibe. Think about the level of attraction. If you felt no attraction to the person at all whatsoever, a second date may not be worth it. However, keep in mind you may not be wildly attracted to the person right away, especially if you're nervous.
If you felt the person was decent looking, even if you weren't swept off your feet, it may be worth a second date to see if attraction develops. Method 2. Send a casual text saying you had a good time.
This is usually best if you're interested in going out again. You do not need to gush about what a great time you had, but just send something simple. For example, "I had a great time with you yesterday. Hope we can do it again soon! You can send the text when you get home from the date or the next day. You can also text your date to find out if they made it home safely.
If the date went well, then you might consider sending a text within the first 24 hours after the date. Just try to keep connecting, and you might find that your relationship will grow exponentially. After you have gotten to know your date a bit more, it'll be time to figure out whether you're going to go on a second date.
If you have been talking since the first date and have been working on your bond, then you're probably ready to move forward. If things have stalled out some, then you might not be that interested in this person. You should only go on a second date if you feel drawn to the person or if you want to see if there could be a connection there. If you aren't feeling it, it's likely best to move on before anyone gets hurt.
Assuming you do like this person and want to start dating them seriously, it's going to be time to start working on your second date ideas. Try to remember the things that you learned about your date while talking to him or her.
Pick a fun date that they will enjoy and that will also allow you to keep getting to know each other. There are tons of options to pick from, and it might be good to pick something outside the box.
Going on a hike or having a picnic in the park might be more interesting than just dinner and a movie. The most important thing is to pick a date that you feel comfortable with. Ensure that your second date idea matches your interests and that your date will have a good time. Once you have checked all those boxes, it'll be easy to plan things out. Ask your love interest on a second date, and they will most likely say yes.
Being honest about your feelings is imperative. When you can't be honest with the person you're dating, it will be difficult for them to get to know the real you. Putting up a wall might feel natural when you're nervous about things. You might not be a very open person, which could cause you to hold back a bit. If you can, then it'd be good to try to let your guard down and connect with your date. People who can communicate their feelings will have an easier time building a strong bond with a new romantic partner.
If you're enjoying your time together, then there should be no shame in you letting your date now. Being real with your date is both sensible and helpful. You don't need to confess your burning love before or during the second date, but acknowledging that you're feeling a spark is good. Let your date know how you feel, and then you can see if they feel the same way.
It's also best to be upfront about your expectations. Some people go into a relationship expecting one thing and then find out that their date wants to take things in a completely different direction.
Your date could have plans to move to a different state or country after finishing college. That might mean that your relationship is expected to be short-term. If you are looking for a long-term love connection, then this person might not be right for you.
Talking about your expectations in a relationship isn't always easy. It can feel especially daunting when you're still getting to know someone. The early stages of a relationship are important, and you shouldn't take things too seriously. Even so, it's good to acknowledge your basic expectations so that you don't accidentally hurt one another. Remember not to get too wrapped up in thinking about your date.
It's good to be excited about a new romantic interest, and putting effort into moving the relationship forward is important.
It's also crucial to ensure that you don't lose track of your other responsibilities. You can't put all of your energy into your romantic endeavors. Focus on your career goals, fitness goals, and anything else that matters to you. Build your connection with this new person without neglecting other aspects of your life. A relationship is going to be much stronger when someone has a healthy life of their own beforehand. Also, focusing on other things can help you to avoid getting too jittery about that second date.
Nerves are normal, but it's smart to take a step back sometimes so that you don't get too stressed. Hang out with your friends and don't forget to go to the gym.
You'll get your second date, and you can keep getting to know your love interest during your free time, too. Finding the right balance is appropriate.
Another big step for your budding relationship is going to be having sex. Depending on your personal beliefs and sexual urges, you might be ready to have sex after a successful first date. Not everyone thinks this way, though. Many people are against the idea of having sex too early in a relationship.
For this reason, you should try to be very cautious when taking steps toward having a sexual relationship with the person that you're seeing.
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